I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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