This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.