11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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