"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
