Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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