I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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