I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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