Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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