What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
