why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
