After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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