so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
