just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
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also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
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Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You are a genius and a whore.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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