Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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