just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i came on her dog
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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