if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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