ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
