first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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