why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize