I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
