I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
