Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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