i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
