that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
