Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
