garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
40s are totally the cure
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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