yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
