im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
