"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
