Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
