My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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