piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
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Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Also, beer. Big fan.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
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