Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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