I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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