This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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