Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
