Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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