the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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