were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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