Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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