on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
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Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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