Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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