She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
