chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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