Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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