I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
