Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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