I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
