What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you never un-have a 4some
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
