Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
