Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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