just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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