her facebook's as public as her vagina
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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