I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
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