Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
