Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize