Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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