I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
