She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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