He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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